“One does not destroy MāYā, one understands it.”
– Abhinavagupta
Today I said goodbye to my mother for what appeared to be the last time. As I sat and looked at her face, I could see Consciousness behaving as her outward appearance and I begged for her suffering to end and for higher Consciousness that appeared bound into the expression as a mother to be released back into its original infinite nature. This mind could see through the divine play of higher Self as mother and child, but there was no relief for this heart, which bathed itself in tears quite uncontrollably. As painful as this week has been, a form of joy and gratitude shines through. There was no desire present to avoid the pain in some illusive ideal of liberation from dual experience so prevalent in much of Vedic spirituality. Kashmiri yoga has taught me to see from reality’s perspective, and from that perspective, an infinite reality lives as all finite experience as an expression of its spontaneous freedom. A singular infinite Existence-Level reality danced as mother and son through the polar appearances of life and death, love and inevitable loss, and joy and pain, and it was beautiful. All experiences come to an end but the reality that has the capacity to perform as the knowing of these experiences is immortal. Of that, I have no doubt for it is true Self. I see clearly now that it’s the appearance of relationships that make this Self divine.
